Tuesday, August 28, 2007

" you are the avatar of me"

Either there is to much on my mind, or GOD has a funny way of communicating with me.

Something that most people don't know about me, or I tend to not talk about much (so that I am not looked at as weird) is that I have had communications with GOD. Mostly through visions or dreams or physical-like beings talking to me. They have only happened a couple of times, and usually are strong if I am extreamely spiritually intuned or going through a strong sense of dispair.

This time, GOD has showed up during my dispair.

As you guys know, I am quite depressed about my job situation. I had a dream last night that the company moved down the shore, and I wasn't able to work there because of the commute. Easy way out right? I wish. But what was interesting as I started remembering more things from the dream...

I was in one big huge house, with family, friends and strangers. The feeling I felt was... I was saving people. Saving people from what you ask? As corny as it may seem, from "themselves."

Ok, now I don't think I am a prophet or anything, but this really sounded to me something that GOD or Jesus would say. It was as if everyone had a problem, and I just ran around trying to help them. When I finished another, someone else needed my help. I would fly through the house as if I was some kind of superhero. My dreams can get like that. It was very overwhealming, but I handled it.

What does this all mean? As I was thinking about it at my desk this morning. Like most times when GOD wants to tell me something, it was voiced to me. What I heard was...

"you are the avatar of me."

What is an Avatar? I know that within the Hindu culture it is a GOD that takes on physical form for a special purpose. I know that in the christian sense, Jesus is an Avatar. Then there is the cartoon toon show that I always watch. Maybe I just been watching to much of the show. Or maybe GOD used the show to show me some kind of understanding.

So how am I the Avatar of GOD?

I questioned GOD, as I always do. And then I remembered an article I read awhile back. "10 Ways that Jesus showed his Love." Ok GOD, am I suppose to be using these virtues in my life? Why did I feel like GOD was smiling at me. lol. At that moment I felt comforted because it has been a minute that I have talked to GOD in this way. I guess I felt sad because I felt that I was so caught up in my life that GOD wouldn't send me these special communications. GOD does still care about me, and my day started becoming a little brighter.

This is just another Phoenix stage in my life. I have had a couple, and even documented some of them in my blog. I call it the phoenix stage because I feel like I am going to be reborn again... but I have to die to reach that new level. I have to hit the bottom to get to the top. Me leaving my job, not feeling creative, car breaking down is like my low. Me getting a new job that will be more creative, that will expense my new car will be the phoenix unleashing!

But I can't get there just me being me. I have to be the "Avatar of God."
The embodiment. The concept. The archetype.. of all the goodness and all the love that GOD IS.

Now how do I do that?

"You already know," GOD said.


Friday, August 24, 2007

that is it!

I'm sooooo ready to go...
sending resumes out now!

Nuff said, Happy Friday!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

soundtrack: bed

"Being able to dream has been the biggest gift that the universe has given me. Within my dreams, I can imagine myself to be or do anything! As I wear my Fitted, I feel confident, sexy, and ready to do anything. Follow me into my dreams, inside my bed." - ShawnQt

Friday, August 17, 2007

the dream team 2.0

Ladies and GentleMEN... I love my Friends! Ever since I have been blogging, it has been my MISSION to get ALL my friends into Blogopia! Check out these BRAND SPANKING, WORLD PREMIERE BLOGS FROM THE DREAM TEAM!


WHAT IS HE KNOWN FOR: The Happy Go Lucky Sex Addict
HOW WE FIRST MET: I always seen him online, but Fuzzy invited him to bowl with us.
MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: Hmm... lets just say he looks good naked under a light. lol.
WHAT I ADMIRE MOST: He is a very generous person, and is very genuine.


WHAT IS HE KNOWN FOR: The Intelligent Drinker who's the Life of the Party
HOW WE FIRST MET: At my so called "famous" birthday party. Our birthdays are only a couple of days apart.
MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: Hmm... When he came up with the saying "A-Roo!"
WHAT I ADMIRE MOST: That his is outgoing, and will never back down from an argument, but he is very sincere and kindhearted.

Thoughts and Confessions
of a Jersey Brotha

WHAT IS HE KNOWN FOR: The Fun Loving Porn Provider
HOW WE FIRST MET: We have always talked during the "blackplanet era," but somehow ended up hanging out more this year.
MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: The conversation about how he will never be a bottom again!
WHAT I ADMIRE MOST: That he gives me my porn on point and popping! He's a very sweet guy as well.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

what would you do

if your friend outed you?

Lil Fizz from B2K, was on a Chicago Radio Station the other day promoting his album. When the DJ asked about his old bandmate, Raz B's sexuality, Lil Fizz in his own around about way, spilled the T! I mean we all had our gay-dars on Mr. Raz B during B2K, and even after with his "I'm Eccentric with a Mohawk" stage. But still, if my your friend, don't out me like that! Then again, if your friend told somebody, "I don't think it's my place to answer that question", that still that sends up a red flag to anyone!

So question, if somebody asked you if your friend was gay, what would you say?
Do you tell the truth or protect his privacy? And what would be the proper thing to say?

(You can read the story here. Lil Fizz Outs Raz B)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Cupcakes On Your Stomach

So Omar and I are at my house, just relaxing, and I wanted to go get a CUPCAKE. Cupcakes are so good and YUMMY, hmmmmm! Anyway... so then Omar starts teasing me about eating the cupcakes. Whyyyyyyyyy does he start singing this song that just NEVER ENDED!

Little does he know, while he was singing, I was recording him with my WEBCAM...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

why is it so damn hot!

So I'm sitting on Omar's bed, and there is only one fan to go around the entire room. I only have on a tank top, some basketball shorts and some flip flops. Why is it so damn hot! I think its because there are two many damn black people in here. And Omar. lol.

Omar is doing his friend's hair. He's an asshole and he knows it.

He tried to drive us into a car accident, riding on the other side of the road like he don't got no damn sense! sigh. No more car rides from maniacs for me! Then there is Omar's date. He's cute. He has a degree in Design and Culinary Arts. He's like me and Fuzzy all wrapped into one. "Omar's Date" and the "Driving Maniac" have been going at it all night... its safe to say they don't like like each other. Omar is stuck in the middle, and I find it quite funny!

Then there is two of Omar's New House Guest, who is suppose to be here for a week and a half, but will end up staying for three months! Mark my words...

Yeah there is too many black people in this house, that is why it is so damn hot! What if everyone thinks I am giving off all this heat? I mean I am wearing all red! (Looks left, Looks Right) Everybody is just sweating, and trying to be cordial, knowing damn well if it goes up another degree, all of us would be blacking on each other!

Just in case your wondering where Fuzzy is, he's at the bowling alley, losing to his blind dad.
Moving On...
Why is this fan not flowing over this way? They being stingy I swear. I'm so happy my boss is on vacation. We are (excuse me let me rephrase that) "I am" still reorganizing the office for this new business venture we are doing. We are mostly a design center, but he wants also turn it into a call center, mailbox facility, and virtual office for those who want to start a new business.

It's not going to work.

I want it to work, but its not, and then we going to go bankrupt, and the business is going to close down. I would be ok with that honestly. Like my mom says, "you is too talented for them. That man is taken advantage of you."

Maybe. Just a little.
But, I do enjoy what I do. I like the people I work with. I like the work we do... just wish that we flourished more, but it all is up to my boss, and all he wants to do is go on vacation. Whatever.

Ok I think the fan is broken, because it seems like the fan is not even working! Gay Pride at the Beach was fun. Shout out to the guy that I met that reads my blog. It is kinda weird when somebody that you don't even know, just calls your name, but it was great hearing from him. Make sure you e-mail me! Am I really popular? If anyone mentions me being on Blackplanet.com one more time! lol. It's embarrassing a little, but hey, I like attention. It is what it is.

What I don't like is how the sweat is rolling over my eyes and I can't even see what I am typing!
So I'm not going to buy a Ps3, Xbox 360 or a Wii. Instead of getting that (because I damn sure don't have the money to get any of them) I got a graphics card and that way I can play computer games and the graphics will be just as good. So yes, I'm smart! I also go the AVATAR: The Last Airbender DVD set. I love that show. I also bought a Tripod for my camera. Oh yes, more reasons to do these damn videos... what do u want from me, that's what I do! lol
Ok I'm rambling now... I'll ramble some more tomorrow.
I'm leaving this house, where is Fuzzy? He need to put my AC in the window!

Monday, August 06, 2007


Qwanell//Jeremy//Willie//Mike//Brian A.

My picks for Making the Band 4!
What you think? Let's Converse!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007


7.7.07 Is when it all went down! Tyson's Hotel Birthday Party was night to remember! It was a night of great friends, good food, music, movies, half naked men, and a hot tub! Yes it was a night to remember! You can check out Tyson's blog at: http://tysonthoughts.blogspot.com/. Show him some love, he's new to the whole blogging game. So here are some of the photos I took from the party...

To the Left is my boy X, Shout out to him!

Shout out to D&D to the Right!

Me and Tyson! He is the guy I told you guys about. "Mr Gay New Jersey" I was his back-up dancer in the show a couple of months ago. He didn't win, but funny thing is, the guy who did win isn't fulfilling his duties and want Tyson to take his place... he told them NO! LOL!

Shout Out to Greg!

Oh Jay! Jay's Birthday is next, and its going to be at this really fancy place, so it will most def be much more classier then this photo, lol.

Shout Out to Omar! I had a photo of Fuzzy and Tyson, but he looked crazy in it, so I saved you guys the horror!


Update: Due to the strong sexual content of some of the photos, I made a responsible decision to remove them from the post.

While I am a Strong Believer in being Sexually Adventurous & Living Your Life, many of the sexual antics was due to irresponsible drinking. I would not want to create a space where a mistake can be revisited and seen by others.

I want my blog to be a positive forum and show my friends and the black gay community in a respectable manner.

So In short, what happened at the Party, stays at the Party!