Tuesday, June 24, 2008


It's been a minute since I did some videos just for the heck of it. So I decided to have some fun! You guys know how when Beyonce goes on stage, there is something else that takes over her (I think she calls her Sasha!) Well For me, there is a little "Beyonce Power" that takes over! I think all of us feels that way sometimes!


I want you guys to choose the

You can leave a comment
either on my blog or directly on YOUTUBE.
Either way, it will be transferred to my

Thanks to everybody, friends, bloggers & readers!
If you have NEVER commented before, I want to hear from you!

Friday, June 20, 2008

attractiveness :: swagger

So I was talking to one of my friends about a potential guy that was interested in him. He is very good looking, tall, intelligent, funny, great job, apartment, car and a good heart.

"I'm Just not feeling him."

But why?

"He doesn't have that swagger I like?"

So I was wondering? What is "swagger", how do you get it, and is it important to have if you want to attract someone? The dictionary says that swagger is: To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air; strut. To brag, or boast. To me it seemed like confidence, and the guy sure had that. But my friend stated that it was something more.

Swagger is more hood, that "don't give a shit" attitude. That sex appeal, that  overwhelming masculine aura that surrounds you. It's the "what's good" or that "let me holla son" It's the thing in a man that makes him even more attractive.

Does swagger only equate to "thug appeal"

Then I was thinking that maybe my friend wasn't attracted to him because he had some small female tendencies (you know like most gay men). Yet don't females have a certain sense of swagger as well? Could this guy not have a professional swagger? or a intelligent swagger? or a gay swagger?

So let me ask you guys these questions?

1. Is swagger something you have
    or something you do?

2. Does swagger only equate
 to masculinity?

3. Is there a different between 
     confidence and swagger?

Monday, June 16, 2008

I needed this...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

a jealous person?

I have never really been a jealous person.

I have always valued my connections with people. Even those of the past. My ex taught me that. Yet when I saw my best friend get out of my ex's car, I just watched as they conversed with each other. I looked out my window, but they couldn't see me. I then went to my coach, put on my ipod and cried.


I guess because the friendship I once had with him, is now gone, and my best friend is the one who has it. Yet am I really jealous? I'm not a jealous person. I have never even mentioned this to him, or anyone for that matter.

I have long come to terms with the romantic feelings I felt for him, yet even still our friendship has had its ups and downs. We have our reasons. I don't know why the connection isn't there anymore? A part of me feels like so much time has passed that it will never come back.

My best friend deserves his friendship. He really is a good guy. Seeing them interact, reminded me of how we used have fun. Seeing the best friend I love, have the love, of someone I used to love I guess makes me sad.

My ex has put out his hand for us to reconnect...
but I don't know why I can't.

I don't know if I will ever know.

I'm sorry
for feeling jealous.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008


These are 9 men. 9 Fine azz men if you ask me! You have seen these types of guys before. in your professional world, walking down the street, at the gym, and even in the club. When you see them, you instantly get turned on, your hormones and imagination are raging, and you can't help yourself! You want to go up to them, but you can't. Or they come up to you, and you get butterflies. There is nothing like an attractive black man!

But what really makes these guys attractive?

All these black men are different. Everyone has there, "type" and to some, at least one of these guys would be a turn off. Yet even still there is something about them that we all want. So I ask you these questions, and we can continue the dialogue in the COMMENT section.

1. Which ONE guy is your "TYPE" and why?
2. Is ONE of these guys the "LEAST" attractive one?
3. Which ONE guy has the most "UNIVERSAL" features of attractiveness?

NOTE: The photos have been put in black and white & cropped so can not comment on skin color or body features. Only focus on the facial features.

Monday, June 02, 2008

X & Shawn Day. err... weekend

In my last post, I stated that one of my friend's planned on taken me out for the day. Fuzzy was jealous, don't know why though. He was going to be busy all weekend, so why couldn't I go hang out?

So X was going to plan the weekend. He had such a hard time picking something for us to do, but it all worked out. He got to my job at exactly 5:30! He was actually on time! Everyone knows how I am about lateness. I try to be flexible, if your going to be 5 minutes, cool, but an half an hour late, I would get so upset. I can be late myself, but MOST of the time, I'm always ready (unless I can't find anything to wear!)

But I was really excited! We headed to the mall to get some clothes  sneakers. Well, he went to get clothes & sneakers, I went to make sure he stayed in his budget! After other friendly bickering over "his" money, he came out with a reasonable purchase. 

We then headed back to my house so I can change my clothes. We still didn't know what we wanted to do. Should we head to the city and head to an arcade? Find some arcade closer? Movies? We actually decided to head to the bowling alley, not to bowl, but chill with some of his friends.

When we got there, I was greeted by his gay cousin, and his voluptuous female friend. Both were pretty friendly, as they talked to me at the bar while he hid me away from his family, LOL. See X is on the DL, and while I did say hello to his step mom, I made sure that I didn't act to extra. Truth be told, what was extra was the bright light green shirt and sneakers he wore! Everyone pulled him to the side, asking him, "Why did you wear that shirt?" I thought it was fly, it was just a little surprising to some of his hetro counterparts.

As the night progressed, I reframed from drinking anything at the bar, and just took a sip of a Jolly Rancher. It was quite good. I love fruity drinks, if I drink at all. Then three ladies came in. One of them in particular was tall, light skin, long brown hair, great smile, and she wore a "Barack the Vote" shirt... not only that, she looked just like Left Eye from TLC! I don't know what happened, but I was actually turned on!

She just had this sense of masculinity about her. She was so serious about her bowling game, and focusing on picking up spares and hitting those strikes like a pro. Yet she still had the girly feel to her, especially when she started dancing to Danity Kane's Damaged on the loudspeaker. She danced and pranced, and I so wanted to get up and pop it with her... but I sat my gay azz down. She didn't know we were gay, and I didn't want to blow X's spot. I was trying to snap photos of her on a cellphone all night! I don't know what it was, but she really got my hormones raging!

The plan was to all go to the city after bowling, but it was already late, and I was starving! All I had was my little plastic bag of raw carrots and some bbq chips from the vending machine. So we headed to Union Diner on Rt. 22. X orders this Long Island Iced Tea, and I took like two sips of it. When I tell you I was tipsy! How does one get tipsy off two sips? I was cracking up laughing for the rest of the night as we talked about some stinky guy in bowling alley, sex in the city, and other random stuff. I think I got home at like 2 or 3, I was so knocked out after that.

Saturday, I kinda dreaded a little. I had to go to my boss's house. sigh. I love my job, and I have a great boss, but its a difference when you have to "party" with him. His son is going to the Navy, and they wanted to give him a surprise going away party. So I got up early to get a workout in at the park... until it started to rain. So I just went home and did a couple of exercises there. Let me tell you guys? Working out really gets your blood pumping, and no one told me this, but it makes you really horny to! From Friday Night to Saturday Afternoon, I swear I was a horny toed bastard! And with Fuzzy no where around, it didn't help! I even decided to take some sexually erotic photos of me in the shower! Anyway...

I didn't have a ride to my boss's place so I took a bus, that only took me half way. So I had to WALK a couple of miles to get into his suburban neighborhood. I didn't mind the walk, what I did mine was me getting lost! So I was so sweaty & hot... I will spare you guys the details. I got there at 6pm and I called X to come get me once he got out the movies. After that we went to see a friend of ours. I was a little hesitant to go because they smoke, but it wasn't to bad. I just cover my mouth when they do. He has a friend of his who is straight that stays there. While we was watching "Devil Wears Prada" on TV, he was watching black straight porn on the computer! It was so distracting, lol.

We stayed for a couple of hours just talking, getting to know each other, which was cool. I haven't done that in so long. It feels good to hear other people's stories, and they say yours for the first time. We got slushies from QuickChek and headed home.

Sunday I thought was going to be a simple day of just relaxing, but X wanted to head out again, taking X & Shawn day to X & Shawn weekend! We invited a couple of people, plus, I was finally going to see Fuzz. :) After a couple of choices, we decided to head to NYC to eat at UNOs and walk around the village. I was a little upset at Fuzz though. I put that boy through so much sometimes, LOL. Since I was horny all weekend, I kinda wanted some affection from him, but we couldn't really do that since we were going out. I asked him for a kiss, and he denied me. I was pissed. I know it is hard for him to show public affection, but I still felt the way I felt.  After I told him, he surprised with a kiss out of nowhere right on the street. It was so romantic, and I had a big ol' smile on my face!

Dinner at Uno's was fun, we joked and laughed, asked crazy personal questions about each other (R. Kelly) and just walked around, bar hoped, and just enjoyed the day. The best part was us starting up a race down the pier with a couple of fellow gays and lesbians, one of our friends climbing up a tree, dancing and "swinging that shit,"taken pictures inside of an apple statue, random conversations with people and being picked up and spinned around! It was one the most crazy fun nights I had in awhile.

I still want to see Sex & The City though, maybe sometime this week...

Thanks X!