Monday, March 30, 2009

My Birthday was a Success!

What's up Dreamers... man, did I have fun this weekend! I have so many photos and videos it is crazy to sort and edit all of them before today! So give me some time! At first I didn't think ANYONE was coming because nobody gave me confirmation, but as the night progressed, HERE THEY CAME! lol. It was cool. Remarkable made his famous BBQ chicken, my Mom made the MAC and CHEESE. I made vegetables, that nobody touched! LOL. But they were good though! Someone hide them in the microwave and everyone bypassed it. Oh well, it will get eaten! Omar made a wonderful cake! Look at those strawberries! MMMMMM!

People drank, Twin brought some "Get Right," and it was all I drank for a couple of hours. Yes I was tipsy after my first drink! Don't act surprized! I loved my outfit, all purple! Everyone that gave me a card, money and a gift, THANK YOU! My Grandmother even got me something! She hasn't done that in years! People played Soul Caliber 4, did video confessions, and we even did a beyonce single ladies line! Great Fun! The night wasn't without its hiccups... and I'm glad everyone respected my house, even when others were disrespectful.

Overall I had a great time! I don't know if I can top this for next year when I turn 30! Wow!


Friday, March 27, 2009


What's Up Dreamers (I'm going to call me Readers this now, LOL!)

I just wanted to first say, THANK YOU GUYS for all the birthday wishes. I was awaken by blings and rings all over my cellphone this morning! LOL! Feels good, especially since I have been so nervous ALLLLL week. For two reasons.

1) I hope this party is the JAM! I may not be as many people as my last party, but I hope it is a good turnout and everyone just has fun! I always get like this before a party. 

2) I have been being quiet and hush hush about this new venture I am in....


Are a group of black gay men that are in a YOUTUBE Channel Partnership that creates videos on various topics and challenges to entertain. Topics can range on "How do you feel about dating someone that is HIV" to "Eat Three Spoons of Dog Food!" Yes its that serious!  The FIVEBLACKGUYS have been on YOUTUBE for close to a year now and have over 1,000 subscribers!

Lately the guys have been doing some Destiny Child change ups! The originals have been stepping down to move on to other great things, and new guys have been chosen, and I am proud to say that I AM ONE OF THEM! I am Mr. Friday, and I have to come up with a video EVERY WEEK! YES EVERY WEEK! So dreamers, get ready!





Thursday, March 26, 2009


Ok, so I tried it... and hated it.

So me being the internet savvy guy that I am, I decided that I needed to keep up with everyone and get a twitter account. I already have my blog, myspace, facebook, and youtube, so why NOT! The only thing is, I think I have toooooo much as it is! So I was just going to use twitter to keep in contact with my friends. So Last Friday, I rounded everyone up, and we got to twittering! Remarkable joined, then Twin, then X, then Fuzzy, and then Fuzzy's boyfriend, and for the first couple of hours we were keeping in contact, making jokes, and it was cool!

Then I realized that... the beauty of friendships is NOT knowing every little thing that they do! I was over it! I tried to make it through the weekend but I just couldn't. It's really just a waste of time, and I miss just talking to my friends on the phone, or just seeing them! So yeah...

I am going to rally as many people as possible to destroy TWITTER, for REAL FRIENDSHIP!

Who is with me?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Birthday Party is On!

So the preparations have begun. YES, my 29th birthday party is on for this FRIDAY (MARCH 27!)! I have sent out the preliminary text invites, I have to design an online promo ad, talk to Mom about helping out with food, and by all means, if anyone else wants to help out, please do!

Of course if any bloggers or readers would like to come, your invited! Just let me know! It will be at my house, and it should be a fun & entertaining house party. Omar said that he was going to make me a "Cupcake" Birthday Cake! There will be no birthday songs this year! Yes, I want my guest to sing the "CUPCAKES ON YOUR STOMACH SONG!"  If you don't know it, then learn it now! 

Here is the video:

Friday, March 20, 2009


Kanye West sense of fashion, is very much ME! Animated but comfortable is what I look for. I don't have a problem with using different and bold colors, and if it has a unique design, I'm down for it. I can't wait until his PASTELLE clothing line comes out! In the meantime, Kanye has a joint venture with NIKE to release a new line of sneakers called AIR YEEZY, which was designed by him. These shits are fire! I'm so getting them when they are released APRIL 14th! Have to get at least two pairs!


Thursday, March 19, 2009

my night in seclusion...

It has been a rough few days for me. It really felt like the world was coming down on me. Last night was my night of seclusion. Remarkable took a trip to see family, and I was home alone. I got off of work, only to fall directly to sleep. I didn't get much sleep the night before. Everybody wanted to go out to a bar, have a few drinks and dance. Everyone was having a great time, but me. 

I had too much to drink, words were exchanged between me and Remarkable, and all I know was that I ended up in the bathroom stall, falling asleep and waking up crying. We went outside to talk, and our differences were resolved, and mostly I sobered up. We went home and both of us were OK. We were OK.

Yet just because the relationship is OK, doesn't mean I was. If I was to prevent another mishap, I would have to get myself together. So I sat in my room, in my night of seclusion and just listened to my ipod.

Music can be very hypnotizing. It allows you to feel the words that the person is singing. I came across Beyonce's Flaws & All. The words ringed so loud to me that it rushed an extreme emotion that I never felt before. How could somebody love me with so many flaws? So many insecurities? Be so patient when I haven't resolved myself? 

You know what's beautiful to me? Is that he sees potential in all my flaws. He knows that I can do more, be more. To have somebody still show you love in your lowest point is empowering to me. Sometimes laying in the bed, as the tears roll down your face is empowering. I was letting it all go. I was allowing myself to be vulnerable when at times I always have to show strength.

I listened to so many songs last night... Imagine Me, Human, Fade Away, Escape, Peace of Mind, Amazing... and as the music played, I fell asleep, I woke up a little bit stronger then before. Even though my flaws aren't gone, I have a better outlook they will fade into the background... with love.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Overall I am in a positive mood, but not all the time. When your imbalanced, you just try to put yourself back in sync. Mostly my career is pretty much down the tubes, LOL. I have told my boss that I'm leaving to find a full time job. I bothers my spirit to come into work and do nothing! Especially when the money isn't right! I rather stay home and look for jobs. He has been pretty ok with it. I think he wants out as well. So he "says" he is going to help me look. We will see. In the mean time, I am taking my destiny in my own hands, and focusing on doing Freelance Graphic Design! 


So while I do design on the side, I may switch gears in my career and do something totally different. I don't mind working in an office. I'm pretty good at organizing things, events or other wise, so my mind is open to anything! 

Not having the best work situation really messes with you mentally, because it makes you think that you not worth while, but I know that is not the case. There are plenty of people in this economy that are out of jobs that are incredible in what they do! Obama's stimulus plan has been working out for me, so thanks Mr. President! I just feel like I want to do more, BE MORE!

I know I have been very vague about me and Remarkable moving in. Some people where even shocked that it was so soon. We actually been talking about it for months. Just know that this has been the best decision I have made financially and emotionally. He is an amazing guy, and sometimes you just have to GO FOR THINGS instead of always being cautious. I think by now, if out of anyone, I know about relationships the most, LOL.

I have been pretty distant with my friends. Funny, because I have hung out with them. It's more emotional then physical. When your not really right in all aspects, it effects you. I just don't want to bring any negative energy around them. Spring time is coming, and I know things will turn around for me. My birthday is in a couple of weeks... I have NOOOOO clue what to do!

Ok here is something I can mention to you guys. I have always had a fascination with strippers. Ever since I was a teenager, a stripper combined three things I loved. Dancing, a super hero, and men!  The way a stripper moves, to me is art! They always were these crazy outfits! And of course, men are so sexy! It's a mind thing to me, all mental. As many times as I have seen a stripper, I never really wanted to have sex with them. It's all a fantasy.

Well my friends finally was like, we are going to get you a stripper for your birthday. I'm like cool, that would be hot! I tell Remarkable, and he is not cool with that idea AT ALL! So we have been going back and forth about it. Mostly me given in, saying its whatever, and him trying to explain why he doesn't feel comfortable. I think he feels bad that he is taking this away from me, but he can't come to terms with how much he dislikes it. I don't even think my friends will find a stripper in time, so its not something I should sweat over.

What do you guys think?
 A stripper at a birthday party? 
Just plain sexy fun or a disaster for a relationship?



nice right?


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Heartbreak Is A Irreducible Fraction { a coldest winter performance }

Have you ever felt like you lost a half of yourself and the coldness was just unbearable?

Monday, March 09, 2009

Daylight Save {me}

I woke up sunday morning, so weak. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't wake my mind to fully enjoy the day. It felt like something was taken from me. Then I remembered. The clocks were set back, and I lost an hour of sleep! Sure I sleep longer then usual on sundays, but it still felt like I wasn't ready for the world.

The past couple of days a force has been taking over me. A force that was not allowing me to fully love. A force that was not allowing me to progress forward. A force that was not allowing me to fully see the gifts and blessings I already have.

I was afraid. I was dreaming in fear.

I was reading Acoustic Soul's blog post about FEAR, and realized that I had to get out of this bed I layed myself in. It's funny. I am a very cerebral person. I always have been. I think ahead, I weigh out logical options, and I am always cautious. It has gotten me pretty far in life, and held me back as well.

I remembered the Making the Band episode where Day 26 was stuck in the show's house with no ability to record there second album, and they couldn't go out and make money doing shows. Which left the group at making ZERO MONEY!  Same with Danity Kane, with all there group members going there seperate ways, it left 2 of the memebers making ZERO MONEY!

Here they are, famous for making wonderful music... making ZERO MONEY! And I thought I was the only one having financial problems. I realized that it wasn't me. This is not just my problem, but everyone's problem. I saw how one of the members of Day 26, Q, went crazy because he couldn't provide for his family. He was afraid. He allowed fear to destroy his mentality and his relationship with the group. At that moment, he became weak.

That Sunday, I slept most of the day alone. Then when I woke up! I knew that I had to wake up with a new outlook on life. While the universe took away an hour of my sleep, I knew that the next day I would gain another hour to bask in the sunlight!

Friday, March 06, 2009

gay = super duper sex! right?

Everyone says that homosexuals are all about SEX.  The word is even in our sexual orientation. The woman is suppose to be the most sexiest thing on this planet... is that why we act and dress up as women? Do we want to be desired in that way? And even if that isn't it, we still work out and show off our muscles so we can be desired even more as MEN. Do we as gay men want to be desired? They say that men are more sexual then women, so would two men be overly sexual? Does that mean that gay sex is the most explosive sexual experience known to man?

So here is my question?

In a relationship,
How often should you have sex when you:

 first meet a guy?
after 6 months?
after 1 year?
after 5 to 10 years?

Monday, March 02, 2009

March Madness!

the party was hot! 
You can check out the photos at my facebook and myspace page!


watch kanye west {performing on} storytellers on vh1
life changing experience