family legacy

A couple of weeks ago, my mother asked me to be a judge in her "Pitch In for a Cleaner City" Poster Contest. I remember when I was younger that I would go to the poster contest in hopes of showcasing my talent. I never got the chance to, but I was honored to be a judge. When I tell you it was a hard decision... man! Judging lil kids artwork is challenging. I was looking for creativity and a showcase of a clear message.

So we picked the winners, and we got to honor the kids at a really upscale restaurant overlooking the city...




The view was amazing! Even thought people talk bad about my city, you have to really appreciate the heart of people really trying to make it better. So I get to the ceremony, and realized that one of the winners was a girl I used to have back when I was working at the After School Program. She always into art, and remember her really getting into my art projects, but who knew I would have picked her without even knowing! Her Father was really happy to see me there.

The highlight of the experience was also how proud I was of my mother and grandmother. They are just like huge socialites! I never got that trait, lol. Here was my mother coordinating the entire event, and introducing me to all these important people in the city, and then here comes my grandmother taking pictures with councilmen and the parent of the mayor of the city! People are telling me how much they have done for the city, and I am just in aww!

I would have never thought that this Poster Contest would make me feel like my family is really amazing people, and I am just glad to be part of there legacy!

soundtrack: icebox

For this edition of Soundtrack, I'm going to highlight the song I have to dance to. One of my good friends, Brandon, err... Tyson is going to be in... how do I put this? A Gay Pageant? He is going competing for Mr. Gay New Jersey. He got second place last year, and trying to bring the crown home this year. I am really proud of him, because he is really motivated. I was honored when he asked me to be one of his back up dancers.

You think I wouldn't be nervous right? I mean I have danced on 106&Park in front of a live audience, national tv, and in front of the biggest selling female group of all time... but this is different! I have never learned a routine before, and it is VERY challenging.

So we have been practicing for 3 months now. We had a choreographer teach us the basics in a dancer studio, and finished up and polished the dance in my house. It is only 2 more weeks till show time, and I think I am ready... I think. Ok I know the steps, but I want to bang it out! I want to be on point! The other dancers have been helping me out, and I appreciate it. Hopefully I can get a video of the actual performance, until then, here we are practicing.

Sorry for the sideways view, the cameraman is an idiot!

part 2 : gender Nonconformity

What makes somebody gay or straight? Are we born gay? Is it genetic or social upbringing? Is it religious based? Those are the questions I have asked myself over the years. After watching the 60 minutes special on Homosexuality, I was motivated to blog about some of the findings in reference to my life.

MEET THE TWINS:
"The bedrooms of 9-year-old twins Adam and Jared couldn't be more different. Jared's room is decked out with camouflage, airplanes, and military toys, while Adam's room sports a pastel canopy, stuffed animals, and white horses. Jared was eager to show her his G.I. Joe collection. "I have ones that say like Marine and SWAT. And then that's where I keep all the guns for 'em," he explained. Adam was also proud to show off his toys. "This is one of my dolls. Bratz baby," he said. Adam wears pinkish-purple nail polish, adorned with stars and diamonds. Asked if he went to school like that, Adam says, "Uh-huh. I just showed them my nails, and they were like, 'Why did you do that?'"

Is Adam Gay?
Well the experts are saying he has "Childhood Gender Nonconformity." A child whose interests and behaviors are more typical of the opposite sex. Research shows that kids with extreme gender nonconformity usually grow up to be gay.

So I ask myself, did I have Childhood Gender Nonconformity?

Let me go down my list here...

1. Ok, there were times I would put socks in my shirt and act like I had boobs. There were even times I when I got out the shower, I would wear my towel up to my chest, instead of at my waist. And yes, even I used to walk around in my mother's high heels. It was funny, and if anything I wanted to know how women balanced themselves in those things. Does that mean I want to act & dress like a woman?

2. I had a huge He-Man collection, but a part of me always wanted to buy a She-Ra toy. Why? Because she was cool and pretty! I even would play with my cousin's Jem Dolls, and act like they were rock stars.I loved that show. I even wanted to have a doll house, but was always to scared to ask. Does that mean I wanted to play with girl toys?

3. I was never a sports kid. I was very active, but never wanted to get dirty... or hurt for that matter. I played hand games with the girls! I jumped rope with the girls. Even Hide & Go Seek with them. Most of my cousins were girls, so who else was I suppose to hang out with? Does that mean I wanted to socialize like females?

Now I know that what I did isn't really that extreame... Or is it? Have straight guys done this as well? I know some of you guys have... or maybe not? Do I have this condition, do all us homosexuals have it?

60 Minutes on Homosexuality PART 1

Gay or Straight?
What makes you gay or straight?
Is it personal choice or genes
or the way you were raised?
While science doesn't have definitive answers,
there's been some fascinating
and often times controversial
research that is beginning
to provide some clues.

CLICK HERE FOR FULL STORY

I Will put my two cents in it once I take a look at the video.

hello!

So Fuzzy & I are ok.

It was just a lot of emotions, miscommunication, and immaturity involved. When you don't feel balanced, your emotions make you do a lot of irrational things. What I learned from all that was that He's not the bad guy. I have to stop making him feel like that. He is a good man, and he tries. He may not go as fast as I want him to go, but all good things come to those who wait. I am very happy with the outcome.

Side note: Sex is banging after you make up!

Anywoo... We went to the club that Friday, and all of us was like, we had a BANGING TIME! Fuzzy was drinking a little, and man did he loosen up! He was dancing all over me, and it was turning me on! I loved the attention, and he was dancing up a storm. I never seen him like that before, but it was cool. It's not a bad idea to get to the club before 12, then come back. If its free, its for me!

I feel bad that I have been slacking on my exercise regime. Guilty even. A lot of people have noticed that I have gotten a lil thick, but I only weigh 145lbs standing at 5' 6. I guess people are used to seeing me skinny.While my stomach is flat, I just miss my abs. I guess comments like me getting fat or thick are effecting me. So now I got to get back on the ball.

We are starting a new division at my job where we help small businesses get started by giving them services to answer phone calls, a mailbox, and be like there own lil mini office, with a conference room and all. I don't think its going to fly personally... but we will see. If it does work, then it will bring in more money, but I really feel like leaving by the end of the year. I love my job, really I do, but there is hidden tension between the employees and the boss in reference to money and healthcare. My boss does care about us, and he is trying but he's getting old. I think he is keeping the company going just for us. I hate getting blamed for stuff that isn't my fault. But I should be more on top of things.

I wish Omar would move in already! He is going to be living next door, and I can't wait until everything is ready! I hooked Jay up with a guy, and he really likes him! We will see how that goes, don't want to put any pressure on him.

Ok let me get back to work before I get fired, just wanted to peep in and say hello!