Duality

Everyday I feel like I go back and forth into duality. From Clark Kent to Superman. From Beyonce to Sasha Fierce, LOL... in my mind, my duality is dueling it out! My life can be so boring, yet so interesting, How is that possible! At times I sit in the house watching 90210 cutting my toe nails, to going out to NYC and people recognizing me from my blog or videos. It's crazy!

People have stopped commenting on my blog, yet I have more subscribers and more people coming here. What's up with that! LOL! I think people see me more as "entertainment" vs someone they can vibe with on a personal level. Either way, I'm still me, and I need this blog! I need a place in the world where I can feel free to express anything that is going on in my head! I'm very much still Shawn without the QT. Just Shawn.

I feel blessed to be where I am. The economy is picking up. I have some great freelance jobs coming in, thanks to me advertising on my blog! If you still need design, HIT ME UP! LOL. I still am looking for another full time job and I hope that happens, cause a brother needs stability!  My relationship is great, we just had an anniversary a couple of days ago. Living with him has overall been a great experience. Of course you have your things here and there, but nothing a good conversation won't fix. I am back in the gym, and my chest is popping! LOL. I have slimmed down some, and now just working on toning everything back up. I went to play tennis with my boy Calvin the other day... man! Talk about sweat! I suck by the way! But I do want to try again.

I need to allow myself to be open to new experiences and new people. I need some new energy in my life. I need something exciting, if that makes sense. I think the past couple of days I have allowed people to spill there negativity on me. It's not a good look. The summer time usually the best time for excitement, so I'm looking forward to it. I can't wait until my  new phone comes in... I will be able to keep in contact with people more often and document stuff better. That's the thing I love about blogs... it helps you really see how great a life you have! Even the boring moments has its potential, LOL.

Do you guys feel that you have a

 Duality in your life?

FIVEBLACKGUYS :: DR. LOVE!

First Weekend of Spring!

My weekend was pretty eventful. Friday I had the day off, which I was fine with. Remarkable took the day off to so we could spend some time with each other. We had breakfast, relaxed a little bit and headed off with Calvin and his friends for dinner at BBQ's in NYC.

It was pretty cool, outside the loud birthday gatherings going on! It sounded like a high school cafeteria! I'm so not sitting downstairs anymore, if I don't have to. Of course I had a Texas drink, and got tipsy off of it! Them drinks are so strong, I don't care what any of you say! And I didn't even drink the shot! When we got to the car, my stomach was noooo goood! We planned to go to the club, but all I wanted to do was sleep. And I did... in the club, lol. I really wanted to dance and enjoy myself, but hey, shit happens.

We left early, cause people had to get up early, so that was cool. Saturday I woke up and went over to Omar's house. He was making his healthy stuff that only he can eat, and I just sat and watched. Mark B. came over to see his part in the Color Purple Movie... If you guys haven't seen it, DO IT NOW! It is quite funny! I'm really excited about the feedback from it, and hope that one day it will be a youtube classic or something. Got to dream big right?

So Omar, Twin and myself went to NYC (again) to enjoy the nice 70 degree weather! We had a lot of fun. I love hanging out with Twin cause he is so funny, I swear to you he needs his own show, or something! After we left there, I was beat, but X and Twin came back over to the house to chill and have some drinks. So we just bugged out on webcam on this website called blogtv.com. Cool place to chill and meet people, and everyone was a laugh and a half! I haven't had so much fun like that in awhile.

The bad thing about it was, we were really loud, and Remarkable had to go to work in the morning, so he couldn't sleep. He asked me to tell everyone to quiet down, and I did, but you know black folks when they having a good time! The last time he asked me I could tell he felt some kind of way, so told them to lower there voices. One of my friends said, "I wish you was single Shawn," and Remarkable heard that. Yeah he didn't feel to good about that. You know that uncomfortable feeling when you get in the bed, and you know something is wrong. Yeah I don't like that feeling at all!

Do I feel I was wrong? At first I didn't I felt like we were having a good time, we wasn't doing anything crazy but bugging out, and it wasn't even that late, I think it didn't even pass 1pm. But then I had to really think about it. As much as my friends LOVE ME, they are NOT going to help me cook, clean, or pay rent! He does. His rest was needed, to go to work, and help pay some bills.  I wish our schedules weren't so different, but in any relationship, you just have to work it out! I'm sure it will get better next time.

Sunday I usually work on my FIVEBLACKGUYS videos. Our next topic is on Romantic Relationships... how convenient! I knew I had to patch up things with Remarkable or I would have done a video that would have been a little bit to personal! LOL. We did, we cool... I apologized. The video came out great! Can't wait for you guys to see it! If you have been a firm reader of my blog, then it will be a blast from the past.

Today is Monday, and its raining like crazy! I have been having some really bad nightmares for the past couple of days... people beating me up, trying to rape me, family members passing away, its a lot! It just felt good to actually get a good nights sleep for a change! I'm at work now, and my boss says that some guy who owns a building wants to open a design/cafe up on the main street. And he wants us to either run it, or coordinate how to do it. If it goes well, then I can have a full time position there. We will see... I have to see how good or bad this place is. I do like the cafe idea though, will make my work environment more relaxing.

When I get home I'm just going to relax. Trust me, when I say "relax" that is like the best thing for me right now, cause working, and filming, and video editing, and being in the public eye, and designing takes a creative toll on you! So I need to find balance.

Ohhh yeah, I almost forgot, I pre ordered my Sidekick LX last friday! Yeah, this is what makes me happy!!!!!

Ok I won't go all into it, let me get the phone first, then I will rant and rave about it! LOL. Hope everyone had a good weekend as well as mine!

FIVEBLACKGUYS :: THE COLOR PURPLE

Cutting Paper

All afternoon, I have been sitting her cutting paper. 

yes paper.

You have to make cutting paper fun, so I found these images online to give me some inspiration, fly huh?

See how exciting my life is? LOL. Actually it is not that bad. I'm trimming down some birthday invitations I did for a client. They look pretty cool. He was going for this whole royalty thing. Everyone thinks they KING NOW! But hey, if its your birthday, you should like such! I did my taxes all by myself yesterday! I got tired of paying other people to do it when it is so easy to  just do it yourself. Now if you got a lot of "complicated orders" then, PLEASE see a professional! I'm getting a nice little bit of chump change, so 10% Im spending, and the rest is going into savings.

I have a couple of design projects to work on in the next three days, so once I get that close to done, then I HAVE to head out this weekend in nice 70 Degree!!!!! I will not be in the house, even if I go alone! What to do, what to do! Are you guys excited about the Wolverine Movie? Start Trek Movie? Beyonce's Movie? I can't wait!

Me and my friends last week filmed for my upcoming FIVEBLACKGUYS challenge. When I tell you that shit was funny as hell! I'm not going to give it away, but I had to redo a scene from a popular movie. MAKE SURE YOU CHECK IT OUT TOMMORROW!!!! The reception off me being on the channel has been REALLY great! At first I was getting all into the hype of the popularity aspect of it, but I had to check myself. I'm very humble people want to watch me. I just know that I LOVE being creative, and this just makes me grow as a person. We are going to be having a 1 year anniversary soon, so we have to plan for that, as well as a trip to Chicago. Now that will be interesting, because I have never flown before! We will see what happens!

I so need a haircut soon. Im about to enter depression mode if I don't! LOL. I had to hold off because there was a big huge pimple in the back of my head and it was right on the hairline! Yeah, so no clippers were going nowhere near my head until this ish goes down!  Where is the weirdest place you got a pimple?

Alright back to cutting paper... lol.

It's Time For The Perculator!

POUR

Have you ever made your own personal waterfall. That one night when the room got hot, and you need to cool off, get a glass that will last, and pour until the last drop. Start from the top, and let it slide down the middle, but lick it slow and catch it as it flows. Imagine the mountains, just taking it all in, as the water runs low, let it drip drop on your nose. Water never ever tasted this good, cause when it falls, I rise, and I can not lie, that shit is fly! Trust me, its remarkable!

Shhhh... don't tell nobody I told you.

try it... tell me how it feels.

Why am I doing this?

FIVEBLACKGUYS FRIDAY :: ISLANDQT!

this is so me.

RELEASE

So I'm at work and I'm reading blogs and watching youtube... LOL. And you know what, I read an article on yahoo the other day that said that being online at work HELPS productivity! I tend to agree. If I'm here, all day, on one project, my mind tends to wander, so doing other things keeps my mind moving, and steady on my task when I'm ready. Also I work faster to get something done, if I know I have to check my facebook messages! LOL.

Ok, so no more parties at my house AT LEAST until the summer time! Seems like my "Mo Parties, Mo Problems" theory is actually true! Fuzzy wanted to have his birthday party at my house since his new apartment wasn't ready yet. Mind you guys, I JUST had a huge birthday party last week, and Remarkable's party at the beginning of the month! At first I didn't think anyone was going to come, which I was fine with honestly, but then EVERYONE came! See here's the thing. Text invites go out to parties, and most of the time they bring people through, and then at times, people I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE COME! 

Now this is nothing against lesbians, but a HUGE group of Lesbians ended up at my house! I know Fuzzy don't know all those lesbians! As the night progressed, one of my friends got into an altercation (shouting match) with one of the lesbians over a miscommunication. Now I know that is was like 4 in the morning, and people had liquor in there system, so something was bound to happen. So yeah, at this point it was time for everyone to leave. I have NEVER had any problems at my parties, but I know what's going to happen next time.

INVITATION ONLY!  LOL. We had fun anyway!

So this will be my third week in FIVEblackgUys and it is going pretty well. I'm still getting use to doing videos every week. I think this is a good move for me because I get to really work my creative juices, and you never know, I may move into a career in film. Oh I never told you guys this! You know when someone ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I always used to tell them... "I want to be a Music Video Director!" LOL. Wow I forgot all about that! So yeah, you never know. I actually love filming and editing more then being in front of the camera... but last night I had a dream. The dream was about me turning invisible. I would touch one of my friends and he couldn't feel me or see me. So GOD said, "don't be afraid to give off your energy, because sooner or later it is going to be gone." So I closed my eyes and it looked like I was on fire, and I just bursted it everywhere and the world felt it! So if any of you dreamers feel like your AFRAID to show your talent, your intelligence or your LOVE... don't be! EXPRESS! Express until you can't anymore, because trust me that energy you leave behind will last a lifetime, but it won't if you always keep it in.

Wow that was to deep, to early in the morning! LOL.

So let me go, and I will holla at you guys later!

FIVEBLACKGUYS FRIDAY :: YO MOMMA!

Feelin Good, Feelin Fly!

I'm pretty happy today. I got a couple of leads on a job, so we will see what happens. Even if I don't get it, at least this will be a sign that doors are opening. Just this week I got offered two design gigs for DESIGNER FOR HIRE, so I'm really happy about that! My job is picking up in work, so at least for two weeks, we will be ok. Day by Day right? 

Tonight, me and Remarkable are going out on a double date. I'm really excited about it because, I don't know, I like double dates, LOL. We are going to Red Lobster, and ya know the biscuits are the business! Maybe I should pick him up some flowers or something. Do dudes still give guys flowers? Is that acceptable in the gay community?

I have been pretty excited about the FIVEBLACKGUYS venture. My first video was well received! I just started working on the one for this Friday. It will be an Ode to Silent Movies! I think mines is hotness! Very Funny, and a little sexy! So PLEASE check it out and leave comments, if not on my blog, then on youtube.com if you have an account.

A good friend of mine from Canada should be coming up this week... HEY SOLIDER! I love my big love muffin. LOL. He is so French, I love it. Fuzzy's birthday is this Thursday. Our friendship is interesting now. I can't believe I'm being honest about this, but might as well let it out into the universe. Ok like, I had this big huge "anger" towards him, and at some point I let it go. I guess I just came into terms with what happen and GOD put me in a better place. So I honor that. What is weird now is lowering the connection with someone that you had the highest connection with. It went from Hugs and Kisses to pounds and handshakes, LOL. Someone asked me how did I feel about him and his new boyfriend. I am totally cool with it. I want him to be able to grow within a relationship, rather then do, errr.... otherwise? So yeah. The guy is cool. I am still warming up to him, but I'm friendly nonetheless. I guess me and Fuzzy's friendship will end up being more natural sooner or later. But I will always be there for him if he is having persona or family issues because I been there to help him through it before. I want him to be a better person, and I guess no matter if your in a new relationship or not, a part of that love is still there to make sure that they will be ok. So Happy Birthday Fuzz, lol.

Alright Dreamers, I'll Holla!

IF I CAN KEEP MY BODY LIKE THIS...

I will be so good for this summer!

Sigh... back to the gym!

WHY DO THEY MAKE ME EXCITED NOW?

This is all Rupaul's Fault!

Bebe is stunning!