I have never really been a jealous person.
I have always valued my connections with people. Even those of the past. My ex taught me that. Yet when I saw my best friend get out of my ex's car, I just watched as they conversed with each other. I looked out my window, but they couldn't see me. I then went to my coach, put on my ipod and cried.
I guess because the friendship I once had with him, is now gone, and my best friend is the one who has it. Yet am I really jealous? I'm not a jealous person. I have never even mentioned this to him, or anyone for that matter.
I have long come to terms with the romantic feelings I felt for him, yet even still our friendship has had its ups and downs. We have our reasons. I don't know why the connection isn't there anymore? A part of me feels like so much time has passed that it will never come back.
My best friend deserves his friendship. He really is a good guy. Seeing them interact, reminded me of how we used have fun. Seeing the best friend I love, have the love, of someone I used to love I guess makes me sad.
My ex has put out his hand for us to reconnect...
but I don't know why I can't.
I don't know if I will ever know.
for feeling jealous.