I had too much to drink, words were exchanged between me and Remarkable, and all I know was that I ended up in the bathroom stall, falling asleep and waking up crying. We went outside to talk, and our differences were resolved, and mostly I sobered up. We went home and both of us were OK. We were OK.
Yet just because the relationship is OK, doesn't mean I was. If I was to prevent another mishap, I would have to get myself together. So I sat in my room, in my night of seclusion and just listened to my ipod.
Music can be very hypnotizing. It allows you to feel the words that the person is singing. I came across Beyonce's Flaws & All. The words ringed so loud to me that it rushed an extreme emotion that I never felt before. How could somebody love me with so many flaws? So many insecurities? Be so patient when I haven't resolved myself?
You know what's beautiful to me? Is that he sees potential in all my flaws. He knows that I can do more, be more. To have somebody still show you love in your lowest point is empowering to me. Sometimes laying in the bed, as the tears roll down your face is empowering. I was letting it all go. I was allowing myself to be vulnerable when at times I always have to show strength.
I listened to so many songs last night... Imagine Me, Human, Fade Away, Escape, Peace of Mind, Amazing... and as the music played, I fell asleep, I woke up a little bit stronger then before. Even though my flaws aren't gone, I have a better outlook they will fade into the background... with love.