Wednesday, December 19, 2007

the outcast

Being Gay, or simply put, being myself has always been hard for me as a teenager. I remember a moment in my life that really reaffirmed me and my position that being who I was is totally OK. When I was a teenager, my mother and I would watch Star Trek as one of our "Mother/Son" activities. One night, we didn't see an episode together. In a sense, I'm glad wedidn't. It was as if, this moment was only meant for me.

Star Trek: The Next Generation
(I will try and explain this as simple as possible so you guys won't get to confused...)

The Commander (William Riker) of the starship, Enterprise, falls in love with Soren. Soren is an alien. An advanced human like race called the J'naii.

The J'naii are an androgynous species that views the expression of any sort of male or female gender, and especially sexual liaisons, as a sexual perversion. They believe that they have evolved beyond gender and thus viewed the idea of male/female sexuality as primitive.

If any of the members of the J'naii choose to be male or female and have romantic or sexual feelings for ANYONE, they are ridiculed and turned into outcast. (Sounds Familiar Right?) But get this? If anyone in there society finds out, they are considered "sick" and are forced to undergo "psychotectic therapy" so that they can be accepted back into their society.

In this video that I am about to show you, Soren has been caught and must explain and confess to her government the wrong doings of her sexual perversion... yet the Commander comes in to stop Soren and save the one he loves.

This moment is very powerful, and brings me to tears every time I see it. The Star Trek Creators wrote the episode to deal with the issues we have about homosexuality and how we are not accepted for who we are and who we love. Really listen to the words expressed here, and feel the emotion this outcast is expressing, it truly is very much a cry for help.

What did you think about the video? 
Have you ever felt like an outcast? 
Would you take or receive 
a cure for homosexuality?
Have you ever made a stand
 to let someone or everyone
 know you are who you are?


WhozHe said...

Powerful video!! Well written by the Star Trek creators. I remember having to stand up for who I am to my family when I came out. I wish I'd seen this episode it would have helped me with the words. But I to am okay with who I am.

You posted this video the same day I raised the question, would you switch?, on my blog. Coincident or spiritual?

ShawnQt said...

Actually Whozhe, it was your post that inspired me to post this one!

Daryn said...

I'm guessing most if not all of the people who read this post will be able to identify without even seeing the video (like me). I am hard pressed to think of a social situation in my life where I have not been or felt like an outsider (not always outcast) for some reason. I got used to being different as a very young kid but as a teen I found this song and I think it really sums up my life. It's not a "feel good" song but it went a long way in letting me know that my experience was not an isolated one so thot i'd share the lyrics with you. :)Outside by Mariah Carey

Playboy Adonis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Playboy Adonis said...

I have never been in a situation where I had to defend myself the way she did in the video. front of a judge. That is so crazy. They want to cure her of her feelings to be and offer love. I would think that it would be a gift to want or give love to someone outside of what is 'normal'.

I do remember a time when I was asked if I was gay. This was when I was about 4 years old. My grandfathers wife sat me on her knee and said that it was ok that i confess to her that i was gay. I didn't even know what gay was at that time. I didn't even know about sex or even about kissing at that time but she was trying to get me to confess to her that I was gay.

I've never felt that it was some huge deal or need to tell the world about my sexuality cause to me it don't matter to you unless you want to have sex. That's my rationale. Don't want Don't ask.

I felt sorry for the lady in the video. I thought at any moment she was going to open her shirt and expose her breasts in some heroinic display of telling the judge to kiss her ass.

I guess we all feel like an outcast at times and it does not necessarily have to deal with sex. I feel like an outcast at work sometimes for having the skills that I have. I guess I feel like an outcast too when I'm with people who have a date and I don't have a date at that time...LOL...that feels awquard. But in terms of being gay I do sometimes feel picked on when I'm in a crowd of people I don't know and someone might be talking about gay people. They don't necessarily have to be talking negative about gay people but sometimes I might overhear people talking about some actor or singer and then they will whisper "but isn't he gay". I don't say anything and I don't even look their way cause I would be taking care of my own business at that time but it does make me want to ask: "why does that matter".

Anyhow...I do get in many positions when women hit on me. They might even be with their dudes on a date and still flirt with me. Should I stop her and say "look lady, I like dick like you like dick"? I mean. I like women too if they classy and sharp like me either dressed down in leather with a nice smell good make me flirt back....

I don't mind feeling like an outsider. I love the outside. I love being out.

Dayne Avery said...

Hey Shawn. Great post. I've had to make several stands after coming to terms with who I am. I have never watched Star Trek but this was a great theme.

If there was a cure for sexuality I used to think I would take it becaue being "normal" would be easier. But as I get older I realize there is no "normal" and we all have things about us blocking perfection. Thats what makes us human. I used to feel my sexuality was the block for me, now I don't feel the same.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Sometimes the things we love destroy us without even knowing it.

ShawnQt said...

Captain: Tell that to Jesus, lol.

Ty said...

I didn't know that Star Trek was so progressive. Who knew!?!

I felt like the outsider growing up and in the closet. I felt that noone could possibly understand how I was feeling. Even though I wasn't telling people that I am bi/gay, I knew exactly how my family and friends/associates felt about it. Which was pretty much the way that the council felt in the clip.

After I started coming to terms with my sexuality and began to accept myself, I just began living unapologetically. Now, not to make myself seem so brave, because I never said the words "I'm bi/gay" to my parents, although I did to my great-grandparents. I just began bringing my dates around the family, they knew who I was living with even in a one bedroom apartment and taking my lovers on vacation with me/us, etc . So in a way, they know without me saying. Still may be a cowardly way of handling it but it is my way and it works for us.

RocaFella07 said...

Wow!! Great post! I've never really had to stand up, to someone, about being who I am. But I loved she speech. It was so...REAL!!

By the way, I LIVED for "Star Trek: Voyager" (every Wednesday nite, on UPN...Re-air on Saturdays)! And, I used to have a crush on the captain's son, on "Deep Space Nine"...LOL!!


Trackstar said...

i have always felt like an outcast in my life away from sports because u know i am a tracksstar so i fit in ther ebut in my family i felt like an outsider because all the bois wud talk about there girlfriends and i wud just sith there hoping nobody wud ask me anything

BuddahDesmond said...

Another great post, ShawQT! I can certainly relate to this. My mother and I used to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation on Saturdays together (when we were home). Oh, the memories.

I've always been different, not just in the area of sexuality but in general. As a teenager (and as a college student), I never felt like I completely belonged. I felt as if I was constantly changing masks depending upon where I was and who I was with. I never felt like there was a place where I could completely be myself. So I, in essence, hid. And I paid the price for it.

I'm at a place where I'm much more comfortable with myself and my sexuality. I'll admit that I still have my moments (depending upon the situation) but I've come a long way. Still a work in progress. I'll have to agree with Daryn. If there is one song that could sum up how I felt, it would be Mariah Carey's "Outside". Despite it all, I wouldn't change a thing.

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