If I don't post this, I won't be able to concentrate, SO...
As I check my sidekick for messages from my friends, I sign on to my AOL instant messenger. I hardly use the program anymore, but since Jay is on it, I keep it on mostly to talk to him. I look at his screen name and see that there is a bubble wit a Z next to it. It means that he is idle. He has been idle for over 40 something hours now.
I know why.
Yesterday I saw my friend hooked up to machines and tubes as he lied there in that hospital bed "idle." He has been sick for two weeks and was finally getting better. He came to my house last weekend just to get out the house. We talked, but he mostly slept. He never sleeps at my house, but there he was knocked out. A week later here he is.
He has a hereditary heart condition, and he needs to have corrective surgery, so we are waiting until his body is ready to handle the surgery. As I was heading the the hospital I was thinking of all the things I wanted to say to him to cheer him up. He was sedated, and I wasn't able to tell him anything.
This is new for me... I never had anyone close to me... die before. I didn't want to think of him leaving me though. He is only 27, he will pull through. I want him to pull through. Jay is the longest friend I have that I still hang out with. He would be the FIRST one there anytime I was going through something.
I always wanted a sidekick because he had one. I was so excited when I got mine so that way we could text and talk to each other on our exclusive devices. In a sense, he is my sidekick.
I miss him, and I am "sending positive energy" to him...