It is kinda taken me a lot to write this post, but I have been holding this in for a really long time. Now, I am not one to be an angry or bitter person, so I try hard to put on this "act" to one, stay strong, an two, not let anyone see my weakness. Hate is such a strong word, but I HATE MY FATHER!
My father and mother where high school sweethearts, and were planning on getting married. He was in the army and stationed in North Carolina so seeing her was very diffcult, yet he planned to come see her Thanksgiving. My mother was very excited to see him, especially since she was carrying me at the time.
Thanksgiving comes, and he's a NO SHOW.
But, he promised that he would be there on Christmas. She was sad, but agreed.
Christmas comes, and he finally makes it.
The two discuss getting married, and my father says he can't.
Why she ask?
"Because I am already Married."
Already Married? Since when?
He says since Thanksgiving!
Yes bloggers, my two-timing father ditched my mother and married another woman. Another woman who was having his baby. I am only a few months older then my half sister. My Father would have two other children who's chances he "fucked up." What a waste of semen!
So here I am as kid always wondering, who my father is. My mother gave me chances to see him, but I didn't know how to interact with him. I remember one time staying the night with him in the attic of my grandmother's house, and I got up because I wanted a drink of water. I go to his room, and he is fucking the shit out of this woman. The smell of it all still sticks to my brain, and I hated it. It was just too much to see at a young age, and I didn't know how to take that. I just went back to bed. Everytime I visit my "father's side" of the family, I would avoid trying to see him, leaving it to "hi" and "bye." He never tried to make any other advances to try and be my Dad, I guess we both didn't know how.
I didn't care I didn't have a father, because I loved my mother! As long as I had her, everything was great. I remember one time I asked him for a black color tv with a remote control. He said he would get it for me. Month after month I asked him and still no tv. I never asked for one thing from him in my life, but this! And he NEVER got it for me, always giving me empty promises. That was the day I said, fuck my father! As I got older, and got to know my other Sister and Brother, I saw the hurt he has done to them. The stories, the crying... it hurt me so bad. NOT ONLY WAS HE NOT IN MY LIFE, BUT HE FUCKED UP THE LIVES HE WAS IN! I guess I should be lucky. FUCK FATHERS.
FUCK MY SISTER'S FATHER FOR LEAVING MY MOTHER, ME, AND MY SISTER BECAUSE HE COULDN'T BE A REAL MAN AND DEAL WITH MY SISTER'S MEDICAL CONDITION! FUCK MY MOTHER'S HUSBAND FOR STEALING OVER 1,000 FROM ME FORCING ME TO MOVE OUT ON MY HOUSE! FUCK MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER FOR MAKING ME THINK I BECAME GAY BECAUSE HE WASN'T IN MY LIFE! I WOULD HAVE BEEN GAY EVEN IF YOU WAS THERE, AND YOU STILL WOULD HAVE HATED ME! SO GUESS WHAT, I HATE YOU FOR NOT BEING A REAL MAN! NOT BEING THERE FOR YOUR DAMN KIDS, YOUR WOMEN, AND NOT DOING SHIT WITH YOUR LIFE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAD MORE ARTISTIC TALENT THEN ME! YOU WAS SUPPOSE TO BETTER ME! YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT, SO GUESS WHAT...
FUCK YOU, AND FUCK EVERY OTHER FATHER THAT DON'T DO SHIT FOR THERE SONS!
Happy Father's Day.