Spring is coming, and you finally snagged you a cutie from the winter. It's only been a couple of months, maybe even a couple of weeks. For some of you Homos, you finally met dude in person from BGC! But Hey... you is feeling the shit out of this man! The First kiss was magical, the sex can't get more explosive, and you really want to make this last! ONE PROBLEM! For some cosmic reason, we all think that gay relationships don't last. You be lucky if you make it 3 months! Being in a gay relationship for a year is like 5 years in a heterosexual marriage! Hey people, I don't make the rules... I just break them!
Fuzzy and I will be coming up on our One Year Anniversary next week!
[Applause]
Everyone should GET a MAN and KEEP a MAN!
Repeat after me...GET A MAN, KEEP A MAN!
ALL RIGHT, here we go. Here are 5 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR MAN FOR A YEAR!
1. KEEP THEM LIPS HOT!
Kissing is the most important part of a relationship. It is the first intimate interacting between two dudes. If you have a hang up over kissing, get over it. There is nothing like two passionate brothas locking lips! Hot! If you have luscious plump lips, you got an edge, but kissing isn't always physical. Kissing is very much a mind game. You prepare for that moment with the locking of eye, the touching of their body, and that soft sexy tone to your voice. You have to time it just right... and if you’re in the right setting and mode, RAINBOW FIREWORKS FOR EVERYONE, YEAH! But beware, if you bite, spit, cough, sneeze, give to much tongue, or have bad breath, take 6 months off your relationship. Yes it’s that serious!
2. KNOW YOUR ROLE!
Sex is good... hell, sex is great! It is invisible line between a lover and friend. Mixing that shit together only leads to confusion. It's cute to have a Fuckbuddy or friend with benefits when you’re in your early 20's, but as we get older, can we progress above that, THANKS! I'm not one for labels, but the bottom line is, somebody has to get fucked! Let me not be so harsh... making love involves two people who know who they are sexually, and they mesh well with one another. LOVE is compromising, and especially in the bed! Being Versatile is a relationship heaven, but most of us can't hit Cloud Nine like that, so... you have to bear the pain, to keep your man. Think of it as a sacrifice, Jesus did it for your sins! Don't we all want to be like Jesus!
3. GET TESTED!
There's nothing like saying I love you, like saying I'm Negative! Why be with someone for a year and not know their status? Finding out your positive after a couple of months, can bring and end to a relationship. If you find out your positive early on, he may still be willing to date you. Now that's love! This way, you can both be protective and ready when a hot moment arises! Being Negative Together will make your year a Positive one! And, don't forget that magnum, you guys have only been dating for a year, shit still can happen!
4. GROW UP TOGETHER!
Let me put it to you this way. If you want to go to the museum and learn about Egyptian Art, and all he wants to do is sit on the coach and watch "I Love You New York." TELL HIM TO GROW UP! Your trying to enhance you man's lazy life, get it together! If you got some problems, and your man gives you some advice and tells you about yourself... GROW UP! Listen to what he has to say! Most important, grow up together. Go to church; learn about positive affirmations, read a spiritual book. Bake a cake, go to the gym, and take a trip to Jamaica. Through these experiences you learn and grow, not just for you, but him as well. Life is not all about eating and fucking... there is a whole world out there! Every relationship is all about how you can grow as a person, if your not UPGRADING, neither will you two together.
and finally...
5. LAUGH & HAVE FUN!
“When we laugh, natural killer cells which destroy tumors and viruses increase, along with Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells (which make disease-fighting antibodies). As well as lowering blood pressure, laughter increases oxygen in the blood, which also encourages healing.” "Science of Laughter” Discovery Health Website
If you laugh with your man, you both will live a year longer to be with each other. With all the stresses of the world, you need someone that can laugh with you the mishaps of life. When having sex, its great to be romantic & passionate, but also make it fun! Role-play, play cops & robbers, be the toilet repairman ready to plunge something, or what ever kinky mess you gays get into. Make silly faces, throw food at each other, do the Beyonce Booty Bounce, do anything to keep you guys entertained and laughing all night! Nobody wants to be with a boring brotha. You and your man go ahead and streak naked in the street that will make the relationship last, and give the gays something to talk about!
