Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Last Friday, I rushed out of work to head out to see "The Male View" which featured not only some of the best looking men in NYC, but the most intelligent and influential black gay men of our time. Maybe I'm bias since most of the men are good friends of mine, but I'm for real! The panel was going to talk about Black Men & Relationships, and I had to be there!

I called my bestfriend Omar to get directions to the place because I knew that I wouldn't have time at work. I called up my other friend Calvin, who is steadily becoming a great friend of mine, as well to see if he wanted to tag along. I asked Fuzzy if he wanted to go, but he had "other engagements." Cool, it was a guys night out, even though I would have liked for him to be there.

So we meet up at the Train Station, and I knew I was going to be late. I got off at 5:30, and it takes at least 30 minutes to get to the Train Station... the event started at 7, so I was trying to get there quick. I did make it, only a couple of minutes late, and saw Omar and Calvin on the platform. It really felt good hanging out with them, We always have a lot of fun. Here are some photos of us at the Train Station.

So we take the PATH train from NJ to NYC, and get there around 7 on the dot. Cool, the street is near by, so we will only be a couple of minutes late. We get to the corner, and make a left. So we are talking, joking and laughing, and 15 minutes pass by.

So I say, "Omar are we going the right way?"

Then Omar says, "Ummm... I kinda left the directions at home."


"But it is right down this street My Shawn!"

"Omar, if you get us LOST!"

So we are walking, and walking, and walking and we hit the 25 minute mark.

So Calvin says one of his friends is at the event, maybe they can help us on getting there. While Calv is on the phone, and I continue to argue with Omar, Omar continues to threaten me if I mention him forgetting the directions one more time...

"We are going the wrong way," says Calvin.

Great! I look at Omar, and he gives me that "stare," because he knew what I was going to say. So I shut up, and we decide to take a cab to go back the direction Seems that instead of making that LEFT, WE JUST SHOULD HAVE WENT RIGHT at the corner, and been there in 5 minutes.


[He's going to kill me for telling this part of the story.]

So we get there, and we are 45 minutes late, but we still got to see most of the event. I felt so proud seeing everyone up there, stating there views, letting people know there stories, and just letting black gay men be heard. They touched on the issue of gay marriage, coming out to our families, being a visible gay couple, and being a role model to other men. The audience was very passionate, and while I didn't say much, I took a lot in.

As I was listening, I was asking myself, what makes my own relationship a healthy one.

* I always believed that a relationship, when first meeting someone should be based on "chemistry." The interaction between the two should be free flowing and comfortable. There should be mutual attraction, physically and mentally, and the conversation should feel right.

* Laugh, enjoy there company. Don't take everything so seriously. Anyone that can enjoy life is always someone you want to be around. It is also an indication of a positive person.

* Communicate. That means say what you feel, and listen to what your partner is feeling. Everyone has emotions, and yours is not the only one that matters.

* Do talk about the future goals for yourself, and see if the two of you can mesh them together. The whole point of a relationship is grow with each other. If you are not becoming a better person with them, you will lose who you are without them.

* Have very passionate sex! If you can have sex with any ol' dude from Adam4Adam, then you better make that shit hot as hell with your man! It is not all about topping and bottoming... there is intimacy involved, make it sacred. But also keep it kinky to, that adds spice and fun to the relationship. Find there spot and do it over and over and over again until you own it! That will keep him wanting more from you!

I want to congratulate Clay, Jared, Nathan S., Derrick, Ray, & Nathan W. on a job well done! I can't wait to see the next one. I plan to interview Jared on what he felt on the event, so check that out soon!

Also check out the next post to hear what happened after we left the event...


Clay said...

thanks for the reveiw man! Good to see you there!

peace -


DLB a.k.a. "WATER" said...

Glad you came through lil' bro...good to have your presence there...i'll see you soon!

Ladynay said...

It was great seeing you....wait, I wasn't there! LOL

Always good to hear about black folks getting together for a good reason....especially young black men!

Rodney said...

Sorry I missed it. Having just celebrated a two year anniversary, it would have been interesting to see if there was anything discussed that could be of value or relevance to my situation.

omar miguel said...

I've heard a lot of positive comments about the event from others who were in attendance. I wish I could have been there. AND that was some good ass advice you gave about relationships. I actually learned something... :-) Thanks man!

Ray said...

Hey Shawn!Thanks for the review. it was good to know that the community still cares to do more than "drop it like it's hot" or "walk it out" in the club.

Omar Ramon said...

loved it...i didn't put in my two cents like usual but it's cool to sit back and listen sometimes.

ummm didn't we talk about the whole directions thing? grrrrrr

ShawnQt said...

Clay, Derrick, & Ray thanks for stopping by!

@ Ladynay
We trying you know, can't be like my daddy!

@ Rodney
Congrats on your 2 years! I'm coming up on my year, seems longer!

@ Omar Miguel
Thanks for the love, where in NYC are u?

@ Omar Ramone
Ohhh Omar! :)

fuzzy said...

I'm not gonna say a thing about the directions, but I am gonna clear my throat and point my index-finger in the air and wave it back and forth! (directed to omar ramon)

Shawn, I agree. You said it really well and I agree. I also wanted to be there but other situations kept me from being there :( maybe next time. I'M ALWAYS MISSIN SUMTHIN GOOD! RATS!!!

antneya said...

My Hiatus is over....december 1st...a new beginning!!!

Queer Kid Of Color said...

I think the question that should be ask here is: how do you not know where the GAY center is?

I was also there at The Male View, I wish I would have seen you to say "hey nice blog!"

Great review!

BuddahDesmond said...

I love to hear about events like this. They always offer something substantial and meaningful, leaving you with much to think about and take away. Too bad I couldn't be in attendance. Great review Shawn!