Monday, November 26, 2007

The "pro/con" method

The interesting and most amazing thing about the human experience is our our ability to "choose." It is our GOD-LIKE ability to create, change, & sustain who we are in relation to the world around us. Many people think that the ability to choose is as easy as picking good vs evil, or right vs wrong... but if only we lived in a black and white society. There is plenty of grey, and choosing what is best for us is constant on our minds, if we want to think about it or not.

"Call this the secret of life if you will. The ability to choose is all based off data, feelings, intuition, experience and projection."

For the most part, we all do it pretty well, but it takes a lot of practice, and then again there are those that need to work on it just a little bit longer. One of the best ways I come up with a simple answer to complex situations is the "pro/con" method.

Take out a piece of paper and pen.
Draw a line straight down the center.
At the top of the right column you write PRO
At the top of the left column you write CON
Then list everything that serves you and doesn't serve you.
Weigh out the list, and come up with your answer.

Simple right? I mean didn't we do it for most of the major things in our lives? When we went to college, finding that right job, choosing furniture for your apartment, making a major financial decision?

Now think about it?

If all those decisions are important, shouldn't we use the same method for finding the right man and getting into a relationship? I remember a couple of years ago. I had to make a decision to pick a man I was in a relationship with for 2 years vs a man I just met a month ago. You have a love that is shaky vs potential love. I am all about making things work, but I am also about being with somebody that appreciates me. So there I was with Omar, making my list. Well this one is really good in bed. Yet this one is really creative. Both of them are pretty intelligent, but this one has a really good job. Yet, I love to see his smile. These are all deciding factors in being in a long lasting relationship. In the end, I went with my gut feeling, and I think that is important as well.

So try this on for size.

You just met somebody, and you think they are pretty fly. Yah been kicking it for awhile. After a month, weigh out the pros & cons, see if this is really going to last for a long time. Why a month? When you rush into relationships you don't have all the data and your only getting into something based off of feelings. We all know how the love jones works, and its a muthafucker! At least by doing this method, you can be logical and still have your feelings be a deciding factor. Once you see it on paper, and you see that long list piling up, then you know if it is right or wrong for you.

Your never going to be near a piece of paper all the time, but you can always do it in your head. Do a re-evaluation of your relationship now. People change ALL the time... and I mean that ALL THE TIME, so that should be a deciding factor as well. Also look into what they have done in the past, and what there possibility for a future is as well. Also remember it is all about the EXPERIENCE to. 

"Dating can be so much fun or living hell on three legs, and you never know what guy your going to get once that fine azz dude opens his mouth. "

I always compared Dating to this:

"You have go through a lot of weeds before you can find a rose."

Dating the weeds is part of the process. The crazy lunatics do serve a purpose, they tell you who NOT to date again! So you have to find the joy in the process, and I know its hard because Thanksgiving just passed, and Christmas is coming. Everyone wants to be shacked up, and that's OK. It is human nature. Choosing the right person to share our lives with is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make, so you have to take seriously. And also if you found that person:

"Never choose someone you like over someone you love, because the person you like will choose the one they love."

Pros & Cons People, get into it!

{All photos were taken from my Sidekick3 which I bought using the "pro/con" method.}


ponoono said...

hmmm good post !

i tried this pro/con thing but then i got distracted !!

in the pro column i would up with a list of all my female relatives who had turned pro yep rhymes with hoe...

in the con column i would up with a list of all my male relatives who are locked up....

then i lost track of how all this would help me to find a man !!!

but as i said starting off.. sounds like a good idea.. unless you prospective man finds out u are keeping book on him ~!~!~!~

Anonymous said...

Many cases simply choices are not provided.

ShawnQt said...

Captain, I humbly beg to differ. To create any action, you either do something, or don't do something. That is the main choice in all our lives, and the driving force of our exsistence. We make choices all the time! Question is, what will u make of them?

Or better said...

"To be, or not to be, that is the question?"

Darius T. Williams said...

I'm gonna try this - I met someone - be on the look out for the post.

Anonymous said...

You and Benjamin Franklin have that pro con concept in common. He called it "moral algebra." He used it to figure out if he should marry his girlfriend. See the letter he wrote to his friend about it:

Promiscuous X said...

Great Post Shawn. I shoulda been there when you were writing this. I have a feeling you had me in mind while writing this post lol. Cuz i was relating all too well. Now yall know it wouldnt be captain if he didnt disagress with everyones views lmao. Shawn im waiting for my text. ehhh hmmmm

Oh an Ponoono im over here cracking up Pro an hoe good one lol

Anonymous said...

Well, all I know is if you been in the places I've been you don't have the luxury to make a choice.

Rodney said...

I will definitely be using this method from now on.

I'm definitely not trying to get shacked up for the holidays... for what? Certainly not a gift. I never end up with gift-givers and it has made me just a little jaded, but I'm not bitter... lol