Tuesday, November 13, 2007

friends with my ex

I have been talking to my ex lately.

Not Fuzz. But David.

David is the guy that I talked about mostly on my [adult swim] blog. He is doing really well with his career. He is now a major graphic designer at one of the top companies that makes fashion shoes. I am very proud of him. After my breakup, you feel like you want someone familiar to talk to. Somebody that really knew you inside and out.

I called him upthinking I was going to get some kind of
"there, there its going to be ok"

and what I got was "Hmmm, that sounds familiar!"

Talk about shade! lol. Is he pushing karma in my face? Well I never! I broke up with him pretty dirty, and I do feel bad about it. But in my defense, he treated me dirty to, that's why I left. In he past. Anyway... I was just happy that he wasn't still mad at me and holding a grudge. We talked about the guys that he met after me, and all the sexual adventures he had, and how mature he has grown. He is now in a committed relatonship with his boyfriend, and they are coming up on a year. He seems like a nice guy, but my ego tells me he will never love him like I did.

Ego, stop it!

Over the weeks I have been asking him advise on things on what I should do with things that was going on in my life. He has really been a friend to me. I always missed that about him. Now that I think about it, David and Daniel (Fuzz) are very similiar:

1) They are both silly. Goofy even!
2) They both have strong opinons, and will let you know strongly about them!
3) They both think they know me so well, and like calling me out on it!

"He told me once, to be careful, and let people go through there growth.
I don't want somebody to do to you, what I did to you."

That was really good to hear. I always say this. You can love people, but you can't always be in a relationship with them. I do still love David, I mean he was my first, and my longest relationship, so it is expected. And I love him because I want to see him happy in his relationship. Maybe one day, I don't know, we will hang out as friends.

What do you guys think?
Can someone still be friends with there ex?
How soon is to soon?
Or should exes just stay in the past?


Barney said...

there is a simple answer..
friendship is a major basis to who you are... and if you can maintain a friendship w/an ex.. it's even better.
But it all depends on how much you are willing to put into it.. to never bring up the old hurts, to move forward, and not get jealous.. to not allow yourself to think of the past.. just look toward the future..

Everything is a work in progress.. but nothing is unattainable...

Ty said...

Um.... you already know. lol

I have been pretty successful with keeping ex's as friends. I won't say that it has always been easy, God knows there were times. But it can be done especially if both parties act mature.

I just usually try to keep in mind that we are no longer together, that there was a reason why we broke up (so as not to just dive back into the relationship), and that you can be friends even if you have to step away for a while and then come back.

I also think that it is important to not try to compete with them. You know, since they are going out, I'm going out to, type of thing. Or since they are hooking up, I will too. Just remember not to loose yourself with trying to make them regret the breakup but rather, just live your life the way that you want.

Omar Ramon said...

ty and barney pretty much said it and you know i hate repetitive busines. As long as hurts are healed , maturity has developed enough to keep ya head from swiveling back to the past in a grudging way and communication is honest and readily accesible then it is definitely possible. just have to know where you stand with yourself and each other so that memories useful as guiding reference points don't turn into yearning reminiscence that leads to reliving the past and trying to recapture old experience. UH UH. an ex is an ex for a reason.i'm not even bg on rekindling a relationship personally. once it's over..it's over. we may have a sexual run-in...or part ways and reconnect as friends later down the line. but once the door to my romance is closed it's pretty much locked down for good *shrug*

Rodney said...

My opinion has always been that there is nothing wrong with being friends with your ex because that's all you were supposed to be in the first place. You just had to get through the whole "trying to have a relationship thing."