Sunday, October 29, 2006

lost friend 2

I remember the good times. Like when we went Chuck-E-Cheese, we were playing air hockey, then all of the sudden The Mouse himself jumped in and beat our behinds! I remember hanging out in the village, and him running down the street in his underwear! I remember going with him to hear him sing in the Gospel Choir, and crying just by songs he sang. I remember him beating me in every video game. I remember the notes we would pass in class, and the stories we used to write about each other. I remember us driving to the city and partying all night. I remember him dying my hair brown, and my mother getting angry! I remember just laughing and being silly for no reason.

When your angry, you vent. This is my space to say how I feel. To be honest. To let go, and write what is on my mind. Sometimes I forget this is a public area for everyone to see, and that it can effect others...

Last week I received a couple of messages from my "lost friend" stating how someone saw my blog, and told him that his photo and business was all over the internet. This lead to a couple of angry comments on the post, as well as few messages through myspace.

Nothing was resolved, besides both of us feeling hurt even more.

While I did not give out his name, I do want to apologize for putting his photo up, and it has now been taken down. But please note, most of my post was 80% remembering how great a person he is, as well as the history of our friendship... and 20% was me venting on a situation that happened recently. Many have asked me, "Did you go to him first about the problem?"

I could have. But I haven't talked to him in 3 months. He was the last at fault, so I felt he should have called me. Fuzzy even tried to contact him asking him to contact me, and lets just say that didn't go over to well. It was not my purpose to "internet bash" you. The comments of others have nothing to do with me. The point of this post is not to restate the situation again, but take responsibility for my faults.

* I have not been active in coming to see you in Philly. Even though I may not feel comfortable going up there, I should have showed more of an effort.

* If I have changed since I moved into my apartment, then that is natural. We are not the same people that we were in high school. We are grown men. We both should communicate with each other how we are feeling about such changes. I should have made quality time with you to discuss this.

* You have done a lot of wonderful things for me throughout the years, and I should have recognized that more.

I was pissed, and I vented. I don't apologize for that. In that last situation, you was wrong, and you have apologized for that. But I question myself, how many "sorrys" do I have to hear until it doesn't happen again?

I sit here listening to this song he used to always play, Deborah Cox's "Where do we go from Here." That song really evokes a lot of emotion in me. It saddens me for things that are comfortable to me are changing before my eyes, and I don't have any control over it.

So like a boomerang, I'll throw this out into the universe and see what this will bring back.


antneya said...

It may not seem like it now Shawn but it is really true when people say "time heals old wounds" just give it time..thats all we can do sometime. Keep Your head and spirits up :)

Dapper D said...

That was the hottest ownership of responsibility I may have heard in a long time. Big ups to you and your friend on a lasting relationship. Honestly situtations as such makes our bonds tighter once gotten over.

Ownership is Dapper