Monday, February 22, 2010


So I'm sitting here listening to Monica's "Everything to Me," which is an amazing song by the way. I have turned off the lights. Lite a candle. My phone is on silent. Twitter is off. Boyfriend is out... and I am just here with my thoughts and my blog.

With all the videos I have done to enhance my artistic craft and the ability to entertain you guys... it truly has been a "dream in a fitted!" I am just so blessed. I am feeling even more blessed that I finally have the job that I wanted as a Junior Graphic Designer in the Corporate office of a Bank, which I am like super excited about! I got my first check last saturday, and WOW! I never got a check that big before, LOL!

By no means am I rich... but to have the ability to feel comfortable is such a stress reliever. Being unemployed for close to a year has been very very rough. But I learned a lot about things about myself last year. I learned to be a hustler, cause it was about eating at the end of the day. I learned to trust in my talent and continue to smile even when I didn't want to. I learned to trust in GOD and GOD's values because by honoring those you receive positive energy. I learned to praise and pray. Wow I can't believe that I am about to cry.

"Strong Zander, Strong"

It has been close to a month now since I got my job and every single day things are changing around me. In my mind I feel like there is a tornado going on. My relationship, friends, family, lifestyle... everything! Not all of it is bad, shoot, I wouldn't even say any of it is bad. Its just change, and I have to go with the flow or be blown away. I have to really focus and have my foot on the ground cause I know that nothing is promised, and anything can be snatched away from me in a second, so I have to stay focused.

One thing I am realizing, especially since I will be 30 next month is that I really need positive people around me. And I don't mean that "play positive bullshit" people give out. I mean I need people that are about something, creating life, here to motivate me and honor my spirit. And I want to do the same for them. I need people that know who they are.

But that is the sad part. Everyone isn't in that place yet. So these people are going to be hard to come by, but hey, it is what it is. I am happy that I am connected to some of those people. Looks like I might have to try and stop being "Superman" and thinking I can save everyone. Oh well...

Me and Mark are doing really well. Man... he has done so much for me I can't thank him enough. I have someone that is not afraid to say they love me. Someone that takes care of me, looks out for me, supports me... especially when I had no money! He would give me his last dollar if he could. I honor that. Now I have to be there for him.

Now I feel that life can now open up for me more then I ever had before. I want to go on vacations and see the world. I want to continue expressing myself creatively... its just a lot that I can't fully even get out in this blog, LOL! But I want to thank everyone that has stuck around to read my blog even with all the videos, LOL!

Don't complain you know you love them!

Until next time!


Kemet said...

Shawn~ Excellent to read what you're thinking & feeling. I love what you said about wanting to have truly positive people in your life and not just those that play positive. I am with you on that. Time to cull the herd baybee.

It's been a pleasure and an honor to watch you grow and progress over the past months!


blasianFMA said...

Oh mah gaaaaawwwwwd I am so happy for you. It has been a month since you started your jobby job job! I didn't know you had been unemployed for so long! You're right, you have to keep focused, you have to live that lifestyle and be SMART. Now that you are making money BE SMART: INVEST, SAVE, and don't change TOO much. You were able to live frugally before, right? Don't be dumb and plunder those checks. Save save save *while I buy another giraffe figurine from Pier 1....

Really though, I am glad I read your blog post today. It brings me joy to see someone else being successful. I am so happy for you and we have barely spoken :D

Go you!

MR said...

Where is the "Like" button?

Adiosmotherfker said...

Where do I place my five stars? Oh well, I'll just add my own! Congratulations on finding clarity and restoring your happiness. Hopefully you're another step closer to those dreams. ✪✪✪✪✪

Chet said...

Kudos to you for securing employment and fining a sense of self.

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Tim said...

Hot post man. I'm glad to see that you've "become of yourself".

In other words, like Madea said, when you turn 30, that lightbulb usually comes on. Yours just came on a little early.

Holla at me.