i forgot.

i forgot.

I forgot what this was all about, what I was all about. everyday Im either working, working on trying to get work, working on my relationship, trying to work on my friendships, filming a video, editing a video, promoting a video or trying to come up with an idea for a video, and i keep forgetting.

i forgot.

i focused so much energy on what I look like, either trying to look good, or trying to look better. trying to hide my imperfections or acting like im perfect. trying to please others, trying to hide insecurities.

i forgot.

that even though you have honored me with oppurtunities, and got me out of situations, and protected me, and sent me blessings, and motivated me, and loved me for me.

i forgot.

I miss you. I feel guilty for missing you because, you never left, I just ignored you. I can't continue walking on this journey without knowing you are here with me. you made me to inspire me to inspire others. you are so beautiful to me.

and yes

i'm crying because I am sad, and because I am happy. the greatest gift is hope for better. even when I am down, and feel like an underdog, and feel like i don't deserve any of this... you know that I DO.

and that I won't forget.