WHAT HAPPEN TO REMARKABLE?

{ this image reminds me of him }

I never had to go through something like this before. But as always, whenever I want to get some emotions out of my system, I come to my blog. On top of that, it makes it easier to tell one story instead of saying it over and over again to different people (especially when it is hard to deal with).

The first week I met Remarkable was one of the greatest weeks of my life. I think the 5th day, he called me that morning, and said that he got into a car accident. Of course I asked him if he was ok, and he was. Bad thing was, he got into a car accident. He was coming from a party with his cousin and his friends, and his cousin (who owned the car) was too drunk, so Remarkable became the designated driver. While no one was hurt in the accident, he was caught driving on a suspended license.

Months later, and court date after court date, today he was sentenced to 10 days in jail.

He called me crying from the court room, and I was just in shock. It is crazy because MJ just passed and now I'm dealing with my boyfriend going to jail. It's a lot. While 10 days is not long, NOBODY wants to spend there time there. His job could be in jeopardy when he gets out, and the fine is no joke. We just have to make it through.

I just miss him, and hope that I get a chance to talk to him again soon. I have been praying heavy, and we made a pact to think about each other and pray at 9:22 each day (our anniversary date).

Babe I love you, and I will be here when you get out.

SHAWNQT DAILY RITUALS

Micheal Jackson Tribute :: GONE 2 SOON...

We are all shocked by the news of our legend and felt that we had to do something to honor his life. Elteddy27 called ShawnQt on the road, and was very upset he was not able to do a video in honor of his life because he was out of the state. So Shawn decided to put up one of Elteddy's old FIVEblackgUys videos that uses one of Micheal Jackson's songs. It's a very touching video...

i forgot.

i forgot.

I forgot what this was all about, what I was all about. everyday Im either working, working on trying to get work, working on my relationship, trying to work on my friendships, filming a video, editing a video, promoting a video or trying to come up with an idea for a video, and i keep forgetting.

i forgot.

i focused so much energy on what I look like, either trying to look good, or trying to look better. trying to hide my imperfections or acting like im perfect. trying to please others, trying to hide insecurities.

i forgot.

that even though you have honored me with oppurtunities, and got me out of situations, and protected me, and sent me blessings, and motivated me, and loved me for me.

i forgot.

I miss you. I feel guilty for missing you because, you never left, I just ignored you. I can't continue walking on this journey without knowing you are here with me. you made me to inspire me to inspire others. you are so beautiful to me.

and yes

i'm crying because I am sad, and because I am happy. the greatest gift is hope for better. even when I am down, and feel like an underdog, and feel like i don't deserve any of this... you know that I DO.

and that I won't forget.

NEWARK ESSEX GAY PRIDE 2009

THE REAL REASON WHY USHER IS GETTING A DIVORCE

FIVEBLACKGUYS :: ORANGE MOON

DISAPPEAR :: A TRIBUTE TO MY DOG CHILLI

FIVEBLACKGUYS :: SEX DRIVE

ARE GAY MEN STILL SEXUALLY DRIVEN

OR HAVE WE PROGRESSED?

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

THE CHALLENGE :: BAD GIRL

So the challenge this week was to dress in DRAG! YES DRAG! I had a hard time coming to grips in doing this. Not so because I'm uncomfortable with it, because in past years I have done it for Halloween and what not, but because this would be captured on film... FOREVER. I think I did a good job how I did it!