Wednesday, May 28, 2008


As I was sitting in the diner booth, awaiting my food, I looked over to Fuzzy to find him on the phone. My best friend Omar is sitting across from me telling me one of his wonderful stories about life, boys, and the pursuit of homosexual happiness. As interesting as all that is, my mind drifted as I tried and eavesdrop on his phone conversation.

He hangs up and says, "He slept late, but he is still coming, so we just have to call him when we are done."

There was only one word floating from the bottom of my stomach, rising up past my lungs, shooting from my throat,  and out my mouth and pass my lips...


Did I really say that? Was the happy go lucky, 5' 6", sexy chocolate of a man that we call a QT, really uttering such non-chalent words that border-lined pure explosive shadiness? As I said it, I was taken a back for a second. Was I on the verge of being a big ol' meany, or a bitter black homo, or worse yet, a honest and blunt JAY? I had to admit, I really didn't care, but I always care. I'm like a Care Bear with a rainbow on my tummy. But I was over that rainbow to...

And so I ask YOU... Does being OVER IT make me Shady?

Earlier that week, I had an idea of coming up with a trip to "broaden my horizons." For the past couple of months it just seemed like there was one party after another. Everyone had a birthday, and everyone wanted to celebrate... at my house. Everyone knows that I love inviting people over, and the sexual antics are always good cheery fun, but it was becoming repetitive, and while it may be fun for everyone to enjoy my humble abode, I live here 24/7. 

I. Need. To. Get. Out!

The world is such a big place, and New York City is my backyard. Why not take a trip to the Statue of Liberty, or Sony Wonder in Midtown, or even catch a movie in Times Square, just as long as I was out and about and having fun. So I sent out the text, then the replies came in...

I'm Busy.
I have to work.
Not my thing.
No Money.
Fuck You Homo, I have better things to do.

Well Ok then, I mean cultural events are not everyone's thing, and I understand that because if anything, Shawn has always been an understanding person. Yet, Shawn has always been one who has feelings. I'm human, it happens. While I have learned to ease up on the emotional outbursts, I have learned that things are the way they are, the way they are. Besides, it wasn't a big bust, I did have some people say that were coming, so there!

 {sticks out tongue}

The next morning, I was up pretty early, and wanted to head out, you know, get a jump start on a gorgeous day! Then it happened. Everyone was late, people all the sudden had things to do, and no one wanted to pick up there phone. Seemed like my plans just wasn't going right! 

I could have easily just been mad, sulk, cuss people out, or cancel the plans all together. I didn't. Actually, I wasn't even mad. Why? Because if there is one gift the universe has taught me over my 28 years on this earth is, People are who they are.


It's a beautiful word I tell you. It can uplifting and positive, like "You can have whatever you like!" or it can be dismissive and or suggest unimportance, like, "Bitch, whatever!" So as the day progressed, and situations wasn't going as planned, I said, WHATEVER, and kept it moving.... Moving to new possibilities of positivity! Sure I was disappointed, because I LOVE my friends. I LOVE new experiences. But everything isn't always going to go right in your life, and everything is not about YOU. Or me for that matter. 

The longest lesson learned. Next time, I will do WHATEVER I want to do, and if know one wants to hang, its WHATEVER. I got OVER it, but there's no SHADEThe Sun will come out tommorrow...


Promiscuous X said...

Whatever bitch lol I like that one.

Well I dont know which one of your other friends already aggreed to make it up to you. I told you Friday is Officially "X & Shawn Day". I get off work at 1pm. So after that we can do lucnh then go out later on etc....I love you too PUNK. Dont you whatever me again lil nigga lol


kennyking78 said...

Nice. Tell YOUR truth Shawn!

No, "whatever" does not necessarily mean you are giving off shade.

Yes, people are going to be people... I, too, had to learn that lesson.

Also, I thought it was very profound that you mentioned that everyone wants to play at your house, but you are the one who has to live there. Hmmm....

Jay said...

Finally you get.

And no, saying, feeling, thinking "whatever," doesn't make you shadey, just human.

Thoughts said...

Yo...I agree with you QT, whatever is one of the best words ever created. It can express so many different emotions with the inflections of the voice. I dont think saying whatever makes you shady at all. I think it makes you just tired of the bs. I mean if you make plans with someone, they should keep them, if not...whatever!

YoungBlack&DL said...

I don't know about you, but I would be whatevering, on a regular, whoever responded back to you with "Fuck you Homo, I have better things do."

Um...yeah...for some reason I think that could have been said, in a more diplomatic way than maybe that's how you and this "friend" talk to each other, I'm not sure...but I would respond in a friendly way off course,
"No FUCK you, you Cocksucking mother Fucker, fine go do whatever better things you have to do trick ass son of a bitch!" now this all of course, like I said, would be done in the most friendliest and politest of manners, because after all he is a friend.

Darius T. Williams said...

Great revelation Shawn...sometimes you just have to do you. I love this.


Anonymous said...

I need to incorporate "whatever" into my life.

queerkidofcolor said...

OMG Shawn, I'm totally "whatever"ing everything now! This makes so much sense!

Jersey Brotha said...

I'm sure there are gonna be a whole lot more 'whatever' moments for you. Just part of getting older. Trust me, I know! LOL

ponoono said...

"Fuck You Homo, I have better things to do"


was that from your auntie?


Omar Ramon said...


Chet said...

I can not tolerate the term "whatever" it is certainly used by some really most people when throwing shade. I have hung up the phone on my friend Debbie a couple of time because she uses that damn term, but then I thought ...whatever.

I do not feel you were being shady just being realistic. Hope that You and X enjoyed your Offical Shawn and X Day on Friday.

Bullet Proof Soul said...

I think my rights to the word were revoked since I used it so much. Sometimes you need a word to summarize a moment and whatever can apply to so many things.

Use it and proudly.