Friday, May 09, 2008

Keeping Your Head Up

I hate Generic Advice and helpful responses. 

You know the ones:
"Don't worry everything will be fine."
"Keep your head up."
"Man up, you'll get over it."

These bother me to no end! Why? Because all your really saying is, that I am showing concern but I don't really want to invest in the time to help you in your problems because either I'm busy, I have my own problems, or this is so trivial to me that I just don't really care.

I will admit, I have done so on a few occasions, but 98% of the time, if somebody comes up to me with a problem, I spend my attention on not only understanding the problem, but also trying to come up with a solution and/or "creative" words of encouragement.

I have also realized that you CAN'T go to just anyone for advise, because sometimes they don't really know what to do, so they just give you a generic response that doesn't help, and your still with a problem looming over your head. 

SO, If I ever have another problem in the future, I will... 

1) Talk to my significant other
 mostly about anything that is going on.

2) If it is about my significant other,
 I will go to my best friend.

3) If my best friend is not available,
 then have a least two intelligent friends that I trust.

4) Sometimes go to my parents or a older friend
 to give me mature insight and/or wisdom.

5) If necessary, talk to somebody I hardly know
 like a coworker, an internet friend, or dude at the bar
 to really get a non-bias response.

6) Write a blog post about it, 
you will get plenty of comments that way,
 just be prepared for the occasional 
"Keep Your Head Up" though. 

And remember, GOD is always there to listen & heal all things within US, but GOD also put humans on this earth to listen, understand, and grow together with, so that our problems are not always unbearable. 

What do you guys think?
 How do you handle your life's problems?

{Thank You Kenny}


Darius T. Williams said...

I keep it all in sometimes - it's not the best way. But, it's what I do. I keep it in or I blog about guys are my therapy.

Bullet Proof Soul said...

Honestly that is the thing about blogs. They can be so impersonal sometimes. Not to mention you don't have the whole backstory so you really can't help a person.

Example: If I said, "I just feel so overwhelmed and things just aren't working for me. I don't know what to do." You pretty much get the generic answer.

If I said, "My S. O. will not help me out, I'm overwhelmed. My job is crazy with the hours. Everyone wants a piece of me and I don't have it to give. I don't know what to do." Then people can help you out better because they know what is overwhelming you.

Sorry to get all clinical, just putting in my two cents.

But I agree, you have to have people you can talk about anything with. People who don't judge you and won't give you the "you are so nasty" eye. They keep it real and gutter cause they love and care about you.

Jersey Brotha said...

What is your idea of "creative words of encouragement?" There's only so much creativity you can come up with to help people deal with the same problems we all go through in life.

j_shanlin said...

well if you ever need some good 'ol church rhetoric and cliches, just call my phone ok? oh well wait! you got fuzzy! lol. but for real though. call me!

ShawnQt said...

@ Darius
Indeed you do!

@ Bullet
Always know that I appreciate your 2 cents, always love a bullet proof comment!

@ Greg
"creative words of encouragement"

In simple terms, words created to best fit somebody's just situation or problem.

You can use "keep your head up" in any situation, but when the words of encouragement are inspring and direct to the problem, they uphold more meaning that resonates with the person longer.

Some people just don't know how to do that, and those are the people you can't really go to if you really looking for somebody to be there.

All that has to do with relationship with the person as well. If you care about somebody then you will be invested in given them complete advise rather then just given a simple generic phrase.

@ J
I will Hunny!

Anonymous said...

Some people have no one...I wonder what advice would you give to them? What constructive catharsis can they perform when they need to release the burdens on their minds and hearts? Sometimes in our human nature, we need to see and feel someone else. I somewhat agree with your post here.

kennyking78 said...

Shawn, that was a great list.

Having a hedge of protection around you is good. I learned a few years back to keep my belief in God and relationship with Him in a good place. The truth is, people will not always be there. I accept everyone in my life for who they are. I know who I can talk to and admire other strengths in my friends who are not the best of listeners.

I try to anticipate problems before they go too far, but in the case that I can't cut the problem at the pass, after prayer, I talk to my mother and certain friends. I also give myself a three day pity party (maximum) and move on.

Life, to me, is precious and too short to not have the best one possible.

Thank you to you, as well. Your spirit and the person that you are is inspiring, whether you know it or not.

fuzzy said...

I am understanding when it comes to responses from others concerning advice. Some people simply haven't been there. They don't have the knowledge or the experience regardless of how close they are. I've realized that I have only asked for advice when I just cannot get by without it or when the situation is that great that I need insight.

Know everyone's advice may have been good for them and their situations and when they give it to you, it does not mesh as well.