Monday, June 28, 2010

Shawn vs SHAWNQT

How did I get myself in this mess
with all this success
From Introspective to Retrospective
I did it by accident I guess.

I went from dreaming
to moving the clouds themselves
I went from thinkin nerds could be cool
to becoming one myself

Now that's cool,
Or should I say, That's Hot
Yet I'm steaming cause its all melting away
Maybe Swagger only sways one way?

Cause at the end of the day...
you know that guy I became to be
isn't me.

He is just ME, on some other shit,
and only comes out when I think Im the SHIT!
So when the cap doesn't fit, and my light isn't lit
I'm just Shawn in the dark
Like Clark, Kent that is

cause even superman can lose his spark

So here I am,
in this shitty mess
stressed, I confess
that maybe I won't be


Morning After...

I feel like I just got off tour.

Here I am, this big huge celebrity Youtuber, creating all these videos to entertain thousands of fans every single week for a year, and it was a great and full filling ride. I got a chance to work with some amazing guys, got to chance to meet other talented people, and really get in-touch with my fans. I got a chance to show people my creativity. I had a chance to dance and entertain and even be funny, which I never thought it would be something I would do. It was a great tour.

Then I woke up from that dream.

Now I am home.
No lights and cameras.
No subscribers.
No nothing.
Just Shawn.

So here I am blogger. Back home. Seems pretty empty I see. But everything is still where I left it. I just took the time to read some of my past posts. I was really good. I really knew who I was as a person.

Now... not so much.

What is the next step to who I am as a person. Being in the small public eye that I have put myself in was very rewarding and very trying as well. While being apart of the FIVEblackgUys was great, our last couple of weeks was the worst experience with the group. I hate the feeling of working with people that lack integrity, communication and dedication to something that other people feel passionate about. Sometimes I wish I could just put out some creative content and everything be on me, but it wasn't. We had to work as a group, and sometimes it doesn't work like that. But in the end, we all came together and showed people that no matter whatever trials and tribulations we may have had, we created a legacy. But what does hat mean for the group now?

Sometimes being apart of the group put a strain on my relationship and my friendships. I am no longer close with some of my friends, even when I want to be. It was hard to spend time on something for the FIVEblackgUys when Remarkable may have needed my time. I was never good at the balance.

So now that I have awaken from this dream, WHAT'S NEXT?

Wednesday, June 09, 2010



Friday, June 04, 2010